Snowbirds head south….

Yup – you read that right…we are snowbirds and we’ve headed south…the weather has gone nuts here and we sure timed our trip to Florida just right! It’s currently a balmy (but slightly humid) 80 degrees F…whilst the folk out west shiver in an Arctic blast which has brought snow and assorted yukky stuff…

Blue generally means chilly (!) and we’re down south in that orange bit

We hadn’t planned any trips while here, but thought we’d take the opportunity to see a bit of Florida, and especially The Keys, as relatively speaking, South Carolina isn’t that far…! We set off from Columbia on Tuesday morning with no plan of where we’d end up – just knew we were going south… Interstate driving can be very boring, but as we love being on the road, we find things to amuse us along the way… roadsigns continue to be a great source of amusement … I’m usually too slow with the camera so have to remember the odd ones here and there…
“Eat like you mean it” – a fast food joint…
“Car accident? Call 1-800-xxxx-PAIN” – insurance company…
I did manage to get these though…

Who’s gonna admit they have an ugly house..?!

Then there are the trucks…I have resisted photos of trucks on this trip as I had so many of them last time…but no rules about what trucks carry…right? How about swimming pool and spa home delivery…coming right up…

Anyhow, on down south…our first stop was just north of Orlando – and no, we weren’t tempted by a visit to DisneyWorld Our aim was to get way way down south to the Florida Keys so off we went again in the morning…we stayed off the main interstate and took a ‘minor’ road – highway 27 – this wound its way through the middle of Florida and we eventually ended up at a place called Homestead – pretty much the last stop before we hit the Keys…as it was getting late, we spent the night in Homestead before heading down the Florida Keys bright and early the next morning…Dixie Highway 1…all the way to Key West…

One noticeable thing on our drive down here – shopping malls…hundreds and hundreds of shopping malls…at one point it felt as though we were driving down an endless strip of shops – and banks – and fast food places – and more shops…astonishing. On to the Keys proper…first one – Key Largo…not much to see from the main road apart from resorts and shopping malls and touristy souvenir stuff…and BOATS! by the thousand…I was driving and Andrew didn’t know which way to look…

A tad much? 4 engines…350bhp…Price tag second hand = $499,000.00

Boats going somewhere…

Store your boat sir?

The boat storage places were huge and we saw them stored on racks for the first time ever…all sizes too, no problem hoisting them up to the top rack…

Homestead to Key West is about 130 miles and took us 3 hours to drive – there are speed limits all the way which made for comfortable driving as everyone was trundling along at the same speed – as one of the signs said “what’s your hurry? you’ve arrived!” We did stop several times to admire the views and just generally take it slow…We’d decided not to stay in Key West as research had shown us that not only would it be expensive, but busy too…so we stopped at the Visitor info place in Marathon where we were told of a condo complex in a little place called Key Colony – a little island just off Marathon – went to have a looksee and liked what we saw, so told the receptionist that we would check out Key West and give her a call if we decided to come back…no problem…

On down to Key West…the drive was spectacular to say the least – don’t forget that the Keys are coral islands stretching over 100 miles linked by a string of bridges…early development of a railway stopped when a hurricane hit back in 1935…the longest bridge is 7 Mile bridge stretching between Knight’s Key and Little Duck Key…the road curves along and it’s hard to imagine what a task building this must have been…

The drive down was punctuated with little stops here and there – we pulled into one place for a cold one and saw this chap…he didn’t look too friendly so we didn’t bother him for long…

Next stop and a paddle in the Atlantic ocean – I found a coconut and thought it would be a good idea to bash it open…err…nope – after several throws at a rock, it split open and the most awful pong with it….! YUK! Andrew thought that was hilarious….and stood in the water laughing at me while I tried to wash the pong off my hands…eww!

A bit of the 7 mile bridge…

Not a bad spot for an RV…or a 5ver…?! Maybe one day…

Finally, Key West…we drove in past the harbour and into the Old Town…we’d been told about a B&B just off Duval Street (the street in Key West) so parked up and went to explore…as expected, it was busy busy…lots of tourists (they have cruise ships in daily!) so once we’d seen the B&B, which was a no-no, we had a coffee and set off to explore the old town – some amazing buildings and houses which are really hard to photograph (parked cars and people…) but with a bit of imagination, you can picture how it must have looked back in Ernest Hemmingway’s day…

The streets are narrow and lined with these gorgeous clapperboard homes with wide verandas, surrounded by lush greenery and cool palms…

Decision made – we were heading back to Key Colony to the place we’d seen earlier…I called to make a definite reservation and spoke to the same bod who’d shown us the room…confirmation with credit card details given, and we were sorted…the receptionist said that as we were arriving after 5pm (office closes at 5pm) they would leave the key in the post box by the reception door…no problem…!

A slow amble back to Key Colony…with a spectacular sunset on the way… we couldn’t find anywhere to pull off the road to take some photos, so I had to hang out of the car window…managed to get a couple of nice ones though…

The sun disappears quickly here – just like Africa….one minute daylight, and the next it’s dark…so we arrived at Key Colony’s Continental Inn (its a bunch of condos which are rented out by their owners…) Confident we’d find the key in the postbox as promised, I left Andrew getting the bags out of the car while I took the small stuff and went off to find the key…small problem = no key. There were 3 envelopes with keys, but nothing for Garrett…hmmmm – notice on door had ‘emergency number’ to call so I called…answer phone message saying “if this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911. If this is not an emergency, please leave name, message and number and somebody will call back.” Great…so, I do just that and we sit and wait…it’s now about 6pm, dark, not a soul around (it’s the ‘off season’ remember…) and I become dinner for a squadron of mosquitos…by this time, I’m scratching and a tad upset…Eventually, a couple arrive who look much the worse for wear, and say to me “are you Sue Garrett?” Perking up, I say yup, that’s me! Only to have the woman say “we’re the assistant managers and got your call, but we don’t have any record of your booking, that’s why you don’t have a key”…. What??
By this time I’m hopping on one leg and scratching with the other, and hopping mad too!
Woman: “We can’t just let anyone in you know, we don’t know who you are and you don’t have an email confirming your reservation…”
Me: “But I gave the receptionist, who showed us Room 7, all my card details and cell number etc.”
Woman: “But you didn’t get an email confirmation?”
Me: “No – because she didn’t ask me for my email address…”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know what we can do for you….” At this point, her husband butts in to say if I can show them ID and a credit card (!), they can see what they can do…
Me: ”You’ve already had my credit card details…can’t you open the office and check?”
By this stage I’m ready to deck someone, when Andrew takes charge, I give credit card and driving licence to woman who disappears into the office to photocopy them…all this time, her hubbie is standing there swaying gently and not saying much at all!
Woman: “Right, we’ll put you in Room 16 as we can’t let you have 7…”
Me: “Why not? That’s the one we were shown this afternoon and that’s the one we booked…”
Woman: ” I just can’t give you 7, here’s the key for 16″
By this time I was in real danger of being eaten alive, so grabbed the key and ran…Andrew behind me with bags and we found our room – actually very nice with kitchen, lounge etc…We dumped the stuff we’d taken from the car and as I was literally being munched by millions of bugs, Andrew said he’d go off to the chemist to get bug spray while I got sorted in our condo – what do we do in a crisis…? Put the kettle on! Cuppa tea!! Um – no kettle, so Andrew put a pot of water on the cooker to boil..plan was I would follow him down to the car and grab our cold bag etc., go back to the room and he’d go off to the chemist…good plan…as we went out the door, I asked him if he had the room key…No, says Andrew, don’t worry, I haven’t locked it…(you can see where this is going…!) Are you sure, says me… Yes, says Andrew, it’s on the latch…Soooo – off we go, me emptyhanded as I was going back to the room with stuff, Andrew with car key to drive to chemist…

Back at the room, I put down the coldbag and try the door…locked! So, picture this, I am alone, in a strange place, no phone, no bag, no nothing…argh!!!! I quickly run back to the car park but Andrew has long gone – there were only 2 other cars there so I thought I’d just go knock on a door, ask to use the phone, call that woman again, and get me back in our room…all the while, I am scratching my itchie bites like a demented person…Back down the stairs and I go knock on the door where just 15 minutes earlier, we’d seen the managers go…I knock politely….and wait….and wait…and wait…nothing, nadda, zip….thinking they couldn’t have heard me, I knock again – harder…and wait….and wait….and wait…OK, so the lights are on and I can see they are home – peeking through the blind on the door, I can see woman at the kitchen counter opening a can…so, I hammer on the door and quickly peek - nothing, no reaction, not even a glance at the door!! What is going on….?! I am now getting a little worried…remember the pot of water on the cooker??? YUP! No problem, I’ve seen lights on in 2 more condos, let’s go knock on their door…door 1 – polite knock, peek through blinds, see movement, step back from door expecting it to open…nothing…knock again, harder, while peeking through door…nothing, not a glance at the door, no reaction AT ALL…By this time, I’m beginning to think I’ve slid into an alternative dimension somehow…maybe I’d become invisible…? Maybe this was the Twilight Zone…? Deep breaths and go try door number 3 - same bloody thing! That nearly freaked me out completely….by this time, the itchy bites had multiplied a thousand times, there was lightening in the sky and I was convinced I was in a bad Stephen King movie…a quick run back upstairs to look through our kitchen window to check for smoke (!) and then back downstairs to the manager’s door – one last try with voice this time…so with me shouting through the door and hammering at the same time, I was convinced somebody would open up – remember the pot of water on the cooker??? Nothing…no reaction…not a flicker…NOTHING! That was it…we were going to burn down the condo, get blamed, get thrown in jail for arson, we had had it!! I ran out to the carpark to see if Andrew was back – nope – not a living soul to be seen anywhere (off season…? dead season more like it!) and then back up to the condo…one last try at the manager’s door, and this time I really went for it…hammering with fist while yelling….aaaarrgghhhhh! No. Reaction. At. All. Just as I was about to lose it completely, Andrew arrived….to find a gibbering idiot! Finally told him what was going on and he tried on the manager’s door as well – thank heavens he had the same result banging hard while shouting at the door, or I really would have lost the plot! Then, a car pulled into the car park and an elderly couple came up the stairs – saw us and enquired if they could help…Andrew explained and they lent us their cell phone to call that number…again…so, whilst trying not to yell, I left another message saying we’d locked ourselves out, and don’t bother to call cos I don’t have my phone and just get here to open our bloody door! I hand back phone to lovely lady and after spraying bug stuff all over me, we go back up to wait for rescue…

I could not believe what happened next…we are standing outside our room looking over the balcony, and guess who appears from manager’s door…nonchalantly swinging a golf club and a bunch of keys…all the time I was hammering and shouting and wondering if we’d burn the place down, the bloody chap was in there ignoring me…! He came up to unlock and propped his golf club by the door…good job it was out of my reach I can tell you! Once I’d calmed down with a nice cuppa (pot was bubbling away gently ) I thought what a sad reflection on our society when nobody will answer the door to someone in obvious distress…and then, when they do appear, they come armed with a golf club…? Seriously…?

The condos we stayed in were beautiful, in a lovely area with gorgeous scenery…but I guess you just never know…